Well, as the title suggests... I "met" the vacuum cleaner. It was NOT a "how do you do? I'm fine, thanks for asking. Would you like a saucer of cream?" moment. It was more of a, "what the???? Why are you GROWLING at me? *swat* *swat* Don't get any closer... I'll... I'll... I'll... RUN!!!" And I'm a bit ashamed to admit it, but I ran... like a prissy, little belladonna... oh yes, I ran... mad dash to the bedroom... and well... under the bed. Okay... okay... I know what you're thinking... how can this big, strong, cat be afraid of a vacuum cleaner??? Well... it was loud! And it came straight. At. Me. Mom had pushed it away from her (I think she was afraid too- I've only seen her go near it a couple of times since I've known her!!!) right at me and I took off (after a few good swats of course- I was about to go for the KO, but then all of a sudden it stopped and went back towards mom!). Okay, I *should* have protected mom from the beast, but I had already started running. Do you have any idea of the amount of skid-dage I would have gotten across hardwood floors if I tried to stop while doing mach 3 around the corner? I would have easily gone through the bedroom wall... And I was only thinking of mom and how much it would cost to fill in the hole... Not to mention the firemen who would have been called to get me out of the tree I would have inevitably landed in... So, as you can see... I was really just looking out for mom's financial well-being. :-D The sacrifices I'm willing to make... I'm sure when my nine-lives are up I'll be known as "St. Riley of Barre," Saint of Sacrifices....
Until next time...
*Grrrrrrrr*(sorry if I scared you- I was mimicking the vacuum...)
~R
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Riley Verses The ... First Few Weeks
Hello again world... Time for a new installment of "Nine Lives To Live" starring yours truly.
Ahem, after settling in that first day, the next few weeks flew by in a blur. I had to begin to train this new human, I suppose to make it easier, we can call her "mom." So, Mom was obviously new to this being owned by a cat thing... but the weird part was, I smelled another cat had been there. I can only assume it was a traveling sales cat or a gyps-cat since mom hadn't a clue. It was like starting with a baby. I had to herd her to my food dish to fill it (some very tasty crunchy morsels) and change my stagnant water. And then in the evenings she would put down this wet slop. She would pet my head and tell me it's "yummy salmon" and that it would be fantastic. Yeah, fantastic if it weren't in *my* dish! Fish? Seriously? How many cats do you see swimming in the stream to eat? I haven't met one. I'm a land-lover matey, I want T-U-R-K-E-Y. So, as any self-respecting cat would do, I turned my nose up and then howled like I was starving to death... I even threw myself on the floor for effect but she just stepped over me (*stepped OVER me* people- anyone know the number to animal control??? I'm slowly starving to death and she doesn't even CARE!). Since my dramatics were ignored, I went back to my dish and ate some of my crunchy tidbits; I figured at least when I died of starvation, I would have a full crunchy belly. :-)
Then there was the issue of this noise box... I swatted at it, knocked it over, but it continued to make this horrendous sound. I burrowed deeper under the covers, but without fail, mom would also swat at it and make it stop. Ah silence, blessed... what the? Wait, mom is getting up? It's DARK out... we don't get up when it's dark- we wait until the sunbeams shine through the windows (she also has obviously never heard of windex- my beams of warmth are interrupted by SPOTS!). So, she gets up, staggers over to my dish and fills it up with some more crunchy goodness, changes my water and begins doing all those crazy things humans do to leave the house... She pats me on the head and tells me to be good. As if. I curl up in my bed and give her my "of course I'm an angel!" look as she walks out the door... And the whole place is mine! :-D Since I will need all my strength to get into mischief, I will take a quick little cat nap... *snore* *snore* *snore* Hey- I didn't tell you to type that! I don't want everyone to know I snore. No, stop typing! S-T-O-P T-Y-P---- *swat*
*Streeeeetttttccccccchhhhhhh* (you know you're jealous!) *Yawn* That was the most excellent nap... now what to destroy first... I think the sofa needs some fluffing. So, I swagger my way over to the sofa, eying the soft green cushions, flexing my fierce, well-sharpened claws, as I dive in for the kill I hear a crunching noise. I stop mid-leap, hit my nose on the coffee table and land with a thud, er I mean, on my paws ever so gracefully. *blink* *blink* The door opens and in comes MOM! What is she doing home? I only slept for like 5 minutes... She walks in and asks how my day was... she's calm... how can she be calm? She must have been canned if she's back home this early... I am too handsome to be homeless...or *gasp* what if she brings me back to the inhumane shelter? I was getting used to this place... it's not that bad... but... but... it's DARK outside again? How did it get dark again? That spinner looks like it's pointing at the 5... Did I really sleep 8 hours? I must have... Oh thank goodness... *phew* Oh dear, she's opening another can... tonight is "pot roast"... of course cats eat pot roasts... I mean, 12 pound cat verses 400 pound cow, you know the cat will just tip. her. right. over. <eyes rolling> T-U-R-K-E-Y... What do I have to do to this insane woman to get through??? Gobble?
*Gobble* *Gobble*
~R
Ahem, after settling in that first day, the next few weeks flew by in a blur. I had to begin to train this new human, I suppose to make it easier, we can call her "mom." So, Mom was obviously new to this being owned by a cat thing... but the weird part was, I smelled another cat had been there. I can only assume it was a traveling sales cat or a gyps-cat since mom hadn't a clue. It was like starting with a baby. I had to herd her to my food dish to fill it (some very tasty crunchy morsels) and change my stagnant water. And then in the evenings she would put down this wet slop. She would pet my head and tell me it's "yummy salmon" and that it would be fantastic. Yeah, fantastic if it weren't in *my* dish! Fish? Seriously? How many cats do you see swimming in the stream to eat? I haven't met one. I'm a land-lover matey, I want T-U-R-K-E-Y. So, as any self-respecting cat would do, I turned my nose up and then howled like I was starving to death... I even threw myself on the floor for effect but she just stepped over me (*stepped OVER me* people- anyone know the number to animal control??? I'm slowly starving to death and she doesn't even CARE!). Since my dramatics were ignored, I went back to my dish and ate some of my crunchy tidbits; I figured at least when I died of starvation, I would have a full crunchy belly. :-)
Then there was the issue of this noise box... I swatted at it, knocked it over, but it continued to make this horrendous sound. I burrowed deeper under the covers, but without fail, mom would also swat at it and make it stop. Ah silence, blessed... what the? Wait, mom is getting up? It's DARK out... we don't get up when it's dark- we wait until the sunbeams shine through the windows (she also has obviously never heard of windex- my beams of warmth are interrupted by SPOTS!). So, she gets up, staggers over to my dish and fills it up with some more crunchy goodness, changes my water and begins doing all those crazy things humans do to leave the house... She pats me on the head and tells me to be good. As if. I curl up in my bed and give her my "of course I'm an angel!" look as she walks out the door... And the whole place is mine! :-D Since I will need all my strength to get into mischief, I will take a quick little cat nap... *snore* *snore* *snore* Hey- I didn't tell you to type that! I don't want everyone to know I snore. No, stop typing! S-T-O-P T-Y-P---- *swat*
*Streeeeetttttccccccchhhhhhh* (you know you're jealous!) *Yawn* That was the most excellent nap... now what to destroy first... I think the sofa needs some fluffing. So, I swagger my way over to the sofa, eying the soft green cushions, flexing my fierce, well-sharpened claws, as I dive in for the kill I hear a crunching noise. I stop mid-leap, hit my nose on the coffee table and land with a thud, er I mean, on my paws ever so gracefully. *blink* *blink* The door opens and in comes MOM! What is she doing home? I only slept for like 5 minutes... She walks in and asks how my day was... she's calm... how can she be calm? She must have been canned if she's back home this early... I am too handsome to be homeless...or *gasp* what if she brings me back to the inhumane shelter? I was getting used to this place... it's not that bad... but... but... it's DARK outside again? How did it get dark again? That spinner looks like it's pointing at the 5... Did I really sleep 8 hours? I must have... Oh thank goodness... *phew* Oh dear, she's opening another can... tonight is "pot roast"... of course cats eat pot roasts... I mean, 12 pound cat verses 400 pound cow, you know the cat will just tip. her. right. over. <eyes rolling> T-U-R-K-E-Y... What do I have to do to this insane woman to get through??? Gobble?
*Gobble* *Gobble*
~R
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Riley Verses The... New Human
My name is Riley (hence the title of the blog) and I am nearly 10 years old in human years. Approximately 3 years ago I moved from my previous dwelling (involuntarily mind you...) into what was called a "humane society." Now, please tell me, what is humane about keeping me locked up in a 3'x3'x2' box? Seriously, they should be called the "inhumane society" with how *I* was treated. But I digress... ahem, where was I?
So, three years ago I began living with this new human... She found me in my little, pathetic box and said that I needed more room to stretch out my long legs and vocal cords (did I mention I am Siamese???)... So what does my "savior" do??? get this, she puts me in a *smaller* box (seriously people?) then puts me in a car (I used to live outside, yes I know what a car is... :-P) and drives and drives and drives and drives... I am pretty sure I am now living on the other side of the world. (Should I say "yeeoooowwww-mate" now?) We make it "home" and I check out my new residence... It'll do I suppose... one bedroom, one bed... I wonder where she'll sleep? Sun beams peak through windows, check... food dish, check... WITH food, double check!... water dish, check... bathroom, check... I guess I can make do with this and the human seems nice enough. She tells me that she's my new mom and I lick my paw, pretending not to listen to her. It's good to set the house rules when one moves into a new house and I was certainly not going to let her think for even a second that I would listen to her... if she wanted someone to listen she can get herself a dog (but not on MY watch!) or a shrink...
That was day one folks... Other than her launching me across the room a couple of times when I accidentally got in front of her (geesh, don't people watch where they're walking???) there isn't much to report... Oh the date was January 1st, 2008, I was about 7 years old (get this, the new human gave me a birthday of April 1st... she said something about fools???) and I'm a very handsome blue point siamese (and single!).
Yowls and meows,
~R
So, three years ago I began living with this new human... She found me in my little, pathetic box and said that I needed more room to stretch out my long legs and vocal cords (did I mention I am Siamese???)... So what does my "savior" do??? get this, she puts me in a *smaller* box (seriously people?) then puts me in a car (I used to live outside, yes I know what a car is... :-P) and drives and drives and drives and drives... I am pretty sure I am now living on the other side of the world. (Should I say "yeeoooowwww-mate" now?) We make it "home" and I check out my new residence... It'll do I suppose... one bedroom, one bed... I wonder where she'll sleep? Sun beams peak through windows, check... food dish, check... WITH food, double check!... water dish, check... bathroom, check... I guess I can make do with this and the human seems nice enough. She tells me that she's my new mom and I lick my paw, pretending not to listen to her. It's good to set the house rules when one moves into a new house and I was certainly not going to let her think for even a second that I would listen to her... if she wanted someone to listen she can get herself a dog (but not on MY watch!) or a shrink...
That was day one folks... Other than her launching me across the room a couple of times when I accidentally got in front of her (geesh, don't people watch where they're walking???) there isn't much to report... Oh the date was January 1st, 2008, I was about 7 years old (get this, the new human gave me a birthday of April 1st... she said something about fools???) and I'm a very handsome blue point siamese (and single!).
Yowls and meows,
~R
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)