Hello all my adoring fans... I have decided to give you a behind the scenes "day in the life of Riley." I've heard rumors that some people (not you of course...) think I do NOTHING all day long. I've even heard that *some* people think I SLEEP 23 hours a day! And then some people think I must be bored out of my cute little head and need a dog to keep me company... (I know who you are MOM and I *know* where you sleep... muahhhh ahhh ahhhh <rubbing paws together>)
Anyway... a day in my life during the work week...
5:00 am: The alarm goes off, I protest, and snooze is hit with minimal disturbance to me.
5:01 am: Coffee beans begin to be ground; seriously, she's too lazy to hit the "on" button? She has to set the thing to wake me up? Really?
5:09 am: The blasted thing goes off again... Snooze is once again activated... The wafting aroma of coffee fills my nostrils...
5:18 am: And she's up. I protest LOUDLY and she shush's me. >^-< (that's my, "are you serious???" glare).
5:19 am: I trip her getting off the bed- doesn't she watch where she's going???
5:20 am: Sitting on the rug, impatiently waiting for her to turn off the fan, close the window and unplug the fan.
Still 5:20 am: Stop halfway down the stairs because I think I forgot to tuck in my mousey-toy... and nearly get launched through the front door. Geesh, she didn't see me *stop*!?!?!?!?
5:21 am: Coffee is poured; half and half splashed in and around the cup; spoon full of sugar loudly clanging as she stirs.... *sluuuuuu-uuuurp* I of course, am still sitting next to my day old water and empty food dish... No no... enjoy your cup of coffee as I starve and play the odds that I won't get malaria and/or dengue from this stagnant water... <paw to forehead... swaying a little>
5:25 am: FINALLY getting some attention... Exactly 1/2 cup of crunchy goodness (not a kibble more!) and one fresh dish of good old city water (don't knock it! Mom tried giving me that bottled stuff... *blech* No thank you, tap water for me; on the rocks! Just like my mom!)!
5:32 am: I drag my sock ( you remember me telling you about them, right? I kept stealing mom's socks, so she finally gave me a pair of my own.) over to my dish and cover it over... I suspect another cat is in the house and I am hiding it from him/her... I only see him/her when mom picks me up in the bathroom... That's the only time I see mom's twin too... I look for her when mom goes to work...even looking in the bathroom "window," but I only see that other dashing cat! I tell him that it's my house, but would you believe he mimics me! MIMICS ME!!! Meows in my face and even paws at my devastatingly handsome good looks! Fortunately, he misses and then disappears as I jump off the sink.
5:45 am: I curl up on mom's lap as she slurps down another cup of java and catches up on her tweetering twits er, tweeter twittings, um the NEWS!
6:30 am: I get dumped on the floor as she gets up to get ready for work. I head to my bed (MY bed. In MY bedroom. On MY blanket. Not to be confused with mom's bedroom) and fall asleep on my soft, pretty, pink (yet a masculine pink!) blanket.
7:40 am: She is off and running and tells me to be good. >^.-<
8:00 am: Mosey back down the stairs to munch on some crunchy goodness.
8:13 am: I hop up on the dining room chair, turn on the laptop and catch up on the news... In case you're wondering, I check out these sites:
i can has cheezburger
lol cats
Cat info
And in case anyone wants to buy yours truly a gift... I've had my eye on this:
Lol Cat Bible
9:27 am: Where does the time go? <streeeeeeetch> Okay, I need to work on my blog. I know my peeps are waiting for my next installment with bated breath!
9:30 am: <tap tap tap> Hmm... what interesting tidbit of my life to write about next... <bzzzzzzzz> It's a FLY! Must keep the house fly free. Que mission impossible music. <dun dun dun dun dun dun nar nar nar> Now, obviously this isn't a picture of me... but since my photographer (mom) is at work... here's what I would look like...
Okay... now I might have missed on my first Hiiiiiiiiiiii-yaaaaaa! So, I tried again...
I have succeeded. The fly is now a snack. nom nom nom.
11:42 am: After a quick cat nap (I slay me!), I patrol the perimeter.
Living room: all clear
Dining room: all clear
Kitchen: all clear
Bathroom: woah, litterbox needs to be cleaned, but miraculously all clear
Spare Bedroom: all clear
Foyer: all clear
Mom's bedroom: all clear
My bedroom: *INTRUDER ALERT* *INTRUDER ALERT*
Oh no he didn't! I've seen this guy before...
So... I snuck up on him... <tippy toes... tippy toes...> with my mad ninja skillz... Looks like I gave him a squirrelly heart attack... tee hee hee....
Mission accomplished- Squirrel is no longer a threat!
My bedroom: all clear!
12:37 pm: I head back down the stairs and stake out the living room... I curl up on the fluffy, purple blanket (people, I don't shop for myself... that dingbat seems to like girly colors... ) and decide to rest my eyes for a moment...
2:30 pm: *CLANG* *BANG* I awake with a start! er, I mean, I am of course locked on and ready to go... I spring to the window to find none other than the same stranger putting something in the metal box attached to the house... OMG IT'S A BOMB! HIDE YOUR KIDS!!! HIDE YOUR WIFE!!! Wait <scratching head>, where have I heard that before???
Oh man... that makes me LOLz every time!!
4:50 pm: Wow, really? It's nearly 5:00 pm? Did I really just surf youtube videos for nearly 2 and a half hours? My sides hurt from LMAO, so maybe I have! Quick shut the computer down... Get off the dining room table... Pretend to have just gotten up and greet mom at the door....
5:00 pm: MEOW! Hi Mom... and how was your day... that's nice...Oh no... everything quiet on the home front... "Riley, GET out from under my feet!" Ah the gratitude... Can you feel the love???
5:05 pm: Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
5:06 pm: Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
5:07 pm: "Alright alright... I'm getting your dinner oh starving one... Like you did anything today to work up an appetite... Does sleeping really burn that many calories??? If so, I'm going to start sleeping more! Here you go... Dinner is served... Yes, Riley, it's turkey... <eye roll>"
5:14 pm: I'm chillax' while mom cooks her dinner and does her thing...
And that folks... is a day in the life of Ninja Riley...
AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-YAAAAAAAAAAAA
~R
Anyway... a day in my life during the work week...
5:00 am: The alarm goes off, I protest, and snooze is hit with minimal disturbance to me.
5:01 am: Coffee beans begin to be ground; seriously, she's too lazy to hit the "on" button? She has to set the thing to wake me up? Really?
5:09 am: The blasted thing goes off again... Snooze is once again activated... The wafting aroma of coffee fills my nostrils...
5:18 am: And she's up. I protest LOUDLY and she shush's me. >^-< (that's my, "are you serious???" glare).
5:19 am: I trip her getting off the bed- doesn't she watch where she's going???
5:20 am: Sitting on the rug, impatiently waiting for her to turn off the fan, close the window and unplug the fan.
Still 5:20 am: Stop halfway down the stairs because I think I forgot to tuck in my mousey-toy... and nearly get launched through the front door. Geesh, she didn't see me *stop*!?!?!?!?
5:21 am: Coffee is poured; half and half splashed in and around the cup; spoon full of sugar loudly clanging as she stirs.... *sluuuuuu-uuuurp* I of course, am still sitting next to my day old water and empty food dish... No no... enjoy your cup of coffee as I starve and play the odds that I won't get malaria and/or dengue from this stagnant water... <paw to forehead... swaying a little>
5:25 am: FINALLY getting some attention... Exactly 1/2 cup of crunchy goodness (not a kibble more!) and one fresh dish of good old city water (don't knock it! Mom tried giving me that bottled stuff... *blech* No thank you, tap water for me; on the rocks! Just like my mom!)!
5:32 am: I drag my sock ( you remember me telling you about them, right? I kept stealing mom's socks, so she finally gave me a pair of my own.) over to my dish and cover it over... I suspect another cat is in the house and I am hiding it from him/her... I only see him/her when mom picks me up in the bathroom... That's the only time I see mom's twin too... I look for her when mom goes to work...even looking in the bathroom "window," but I only see that other dashing cat! I tell him that it's my house, but would you believe he mimics me! MIMICS ME!!! Meows in my face and even paws at my devastatingly handsome good looks! Fortunately, he misses and then disappears as I jump off the sink.
5:45 am: I curl up on mom's lap as she slurps down another cup of java and catches up on her tweetering twits er, tweeter twittings, um the NEWS!
6:30 am: I get dumped on the floor as she gets up to get ready for work. I head to my bed (MY bed. In MY bedroom. On MY blanket. Not to be confused with mom's bedroom) and fall asleep on my soft, pretty, pink (yet a masculine pink!) blanket.
7:40 am: She is off and running and tells me to be good. >^.-<
8:00 am: Mosey back down the stairs to munch on some crunchy goodness.
8:13 am: I hop up on the dining room chair, turn on the laptop and catch up on the news... In case you're wondering, I check out these sites:
i can has cheezburger
lol cats
Cat info
And in case anyone wants to buy yours truly a gift... I've had my eye on this:
Lol Cat Bible
9:27 am: Where does the time go? <streeeeeeetch> Okay, I need to work on my blog. I know my peeps are waiting for my next installment with bated breath!
9:30 am: <tap tap tap> Hmm... what interesting tidbit of my life to write about next... <bzzzzzzzz> It's a FLY! Must keep the house fly free. Que mission impossible music. <dun dun dun dun dun dun nar nar nar> Now, obviously this isn't a picture of me... but since my photographer (mom) is at work... here's what I would look like...
11:42 am: After a quick cat nap (I slay me!), I patrol the perimeter.
Living room: all clear
Dining room: all clear
Kitchen: all clear
Bathroom: woah, litterbox needs to be cleaned, but miraculously all clear
Spare Bedroom: all clear
Foyer: all clear
Mom's bedroom: all clear
My bedroom: *INTRUDER ALERT* *INTRUDER ALERT*
My bedroom: all clear!
12:37 pm: I head back down the stairs and stake out the living room... I curl up on the fluffy, purple blanket (people, I don't shop for myself... that dingbat seems to like girly colors... ) and decide to rest my eyes for a moment...
2:30 pm: *CLANG* *BANG* I awake with a start! er, I mean, I am of course locked on and ready to go... I spring to the window to find none other than the same stranger putting something in the metal box attached to the house... OMG IT'S A BOMB! HIDE YOUR KIDS!!! HIDE YOUR WIFE!!! Wait <scratching head>, where have I heard that before???
Oh man... that makes me LOLz every time!!
4:50 pm: Wow, really? It's nearly 5:00 pm? Did I really just surf youtube videos for nearly 2 and a half hours? My sides hurt from LMAO, so maybe I have! Quick shut the computer down... Get off the dining room table... Pretend to have just gotten up and greet mom at the door....
5:00 pm: MEOW! Hi Mom... and how was your day... that's nice...Oh no... everything quiet on the home front... "Riley, GET out from under my feet!" Ah the gratitude... Can you feel the love???
5:05 pm: Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
5:06 pm: Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
5:07 pm: "Alright alright... I'm getting your dinner oh starving one... Like you did anything today to work up an appetite... Does sleeping really burn that many calories??? If so, I'm going to start sleeping more! Here you go... Dinner is served... Yes, Riley, it's turkey... <eye roll>"
5:14 pm: I'm chillax' while mom cooks her dinner and does her thing...
And that folks... is a day in the life of Ninja Riley...
AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-YAAAAAAAAAAAA
~R
