Riley Verses The... Torture Treat Chamber

The Torture Treat Chamber... Mom is really putting the screws to me now... She thinks I need a diet... that I should *work* for my treats... Maybe I should padlock the fridge and see if she enjoys *working* for her food...    -.^

This is an evil exciting sphere of treat-giving irritation goodness. The idea is to bat it through a window around the room, and allow the treat to naturally fall from an unnaturally small hole the window in the top of the torturous toy. Doesn't that sound like malicious torment fun???

You would not believe the mad skillz I posses to HIDE this sucker (you know, once it is emptied... Darn you tasty-treat-goodness!!!) Because... once it is hidden, and mom cannot find it, she is forced to just hand me my treats! (Thank you Greenies Company for coming out with such fine tasting specimen of extra calories!)

The other day, mom came home with this thing and tricked me... I hear her chirp, "Riley want a treat???" Well, cat-gone it, does the sun rise every morning? Of COURSE I want a treat! So I prance out to the dining room, singing, "Yes I do... oh yes I do... Yes I do!!!" And that is when she hands it to me... the aforementioned chamber of doom... At first, mom would smack it around (yes, yes, I have her well trained... :-D ) and I would follow the treat paved line. Then, she stopped. SHE. STOPPED! Um, hello? If you don't hit the ball-y thing, I do not get treats... <glare> After what seemed an eternity, I finally decided to *pat* *pat* the thing myself... and nothing... <glare> *PAT* *PAT* nothing... *PAAAT* *SMACK* Woo-hoo, pay dirt! One whole treat. What? One? For all that work I get ONE. LOUSY. TREAT???

Okay... if that's how it's going to be... *Ka-pow*  *nom nom nom* *Ka-boom!* *nom nom nom* *Hiiiiiiiiii - yaaaaaa* *nom nom nom*

Aww, look at that... you're now empty... as empty as your dark soul, you devious device of misery... And if you disappear- you will not be a thorn in my side any longer... so... lets see... *grunt* *groan* there you go, under the loveseat with the cobwebs... back to the depths of Dante's inferno.... back you go to your third circle... (Side-note: our esteemed blogger, Riley, unknowingly chose the "gluttony" circle; coincidence???) Goodbye and good ridden! Now to clean these cobwebs off of me...

It was about three days later and I hear Jigsaw (aka mom) demonically hiss, "I want to play a game..." And cat-gone it! It was back! How did mom find it??? She NEVER looks under the loveseat... *hrmph* I didn't want to... but it was filled with TREATS! I couldn't turn my back on it when it was full of crunchy morsels... it needed my help... to empty its bulging belly of delicacies. I could sacrifice a few more moments of my time to smack it to kingdom come, er, inferno come.

This time I hid it MUCH better. So much better in fact, that I am not even telling my loyal readers where I hid it- in case you feel the need to tell my mom... Because so far, she has not been able to locate its whereabouts... She's sent out an APB... Looked under the loveseat, the bench, the tv stand... but alas...

"Oh where oh where did the little toy go? Oh where oh where can it be? With its belly void and empty of treats... oh where oh where is it???"

Hiding and not seeking...
~R

Riley Verses The... Short One... Again

Mom's been hogging the laptop for homework... As if that is more important than my blogging... Where are her priorities!?!?! I mean, seriously! I'm sure if I polled my lovely fans you would all agree with me. Right? RIGHT???

Well, it happened AGAIN.... Mom invited her sister and the diminutive one to MY house again without MY permission... Does she think she owns the place or something???

Fortunately, it was a short visit and mom had them out of the house most of the time... It all happened a couple of months ago...

I'm curled up in my blanket on the couch. Mom is scurrying around washing sheets, cleaning the kitchen and dining room and making up the beds upstairs. I'm mostly sleeping, but keeping an eye on things. Mom never ever cleans without a reason... and it usually means someone is coming over and mom doesn't want to be reported to Hoarders (she's camera shy ya know...)

*A knock at the door*
Mom opens the door to her dad, says, "Hi" and brings him down to the basement to check something. They're back up in a few minutes and mom grabs her bag, tells me to be good and is out the door...

Curious... All that cleaning for a ten minute visit and he never even went upstairs? That's odd... Mom never does any cleaning without a reason...

And the reason showed up about 8 hours later... a short, annoying, little reason... (the only picture of shorty smiling).

Oh yes... they were back. Can you imagine??? I wasn't notified... I wasn't even WARNED! I would have left a "mint" on his pillow (muahhhh ahhhh ahhhh!!!).

Anyway, it was late and we all went to bed... The next morning they all got up and out early... which made me very happy.

They returned around dinner time, but mom was able to keep them outside... hmm... does that make them #OccupySideWalk??? Lets ponder this... while here, they were fed free of charge... a roof over their head free of charge... entertainment options (fortunately, AWAY from home) free of charge... O. M. G! They're part of the 99%... Mom! Mom! Are you reading this??? Are you??? That's it, I'm putting my paw down. THEY. WILL. NOT. BE. ALLOWED. IN. MY. HOUSE. AGAIN!!!! Hrmph! If I have to work my cute little behind off earning my keep (you have no idea the work I have to put into keeping mom happy... constantly purring and keeping her lap warm... following her around, ensuring her safety... constantly letting her know that I was there for her... It's not easy I tell ya... it's not easy...) then so do they!

So, after they left I put on the water (we paid for), brought out the Assam tea (we paid for- if you too would like to have some, Mom got it from www.herbco.com- they even have CATNIP!) and mom and I had a little tea party... ;-)

Still Tea Partying...
~R