Can anybody explain to me WHY on earth every time mom says, "We need more room to stretch your kangaroo legs..." I end up in a smaller space? Anyone? Really? I knew you were all thinking, "Oh boy, Riley is getting a new house... that sounds bigger than a one bedroom apt! Yay for Riley!" But NO... I'll tell you my 'tale' of woe...
It all began back in the early spring of 2009... Mom started bringing home all these empty boxes... "FINALLY!" I thought... She is FINALLY going to get rid of some of her worthless junk that takes room away from me... :-D Then she sits down and tells me that she found this house... she knew I would love it- more windows, more room, more heating vents... (and more mice, but she was unaware of that "more") Wow... more room... more heat... more windows and sunbeams... I am in cat-heaven! When do we leave? I'll have my bag packed in a moment! Okay... I'm ready- let's GO!
But, we didn't leave as quickly as I thought we would... nope, not at all... Instead, every day mom would pack up a couple of boxes and take more precious square footage of sunbeamage from me. Then one day, finally, she started hauling all the boxes out... It's about time- time to move to the HOUSE! Woo hoo! But, no, she was just storing the boxes elsewhere, because as soon as they were gone, she started replacing them with more boxes... For one person, she has a lot of JUNK! I should have gotten her an organizing service for Christmas to help her purge some of this junk... Seriously, do you really think she's going to use 200 pounds of yarn in her lifetime???
Anyway, no need to bore you with all the details that bored me... So, moving day finally arrives... Yes! More room to run around! So, mom puts me in my itty bitty tiny box and we're on our way to our new house! And we're driving and driving and driving and driving... Didn't she say the house was near the apt? Did she get lost? I start complaining and she tells me to be quiet... And FINALLY, the car comes to a stop... Wow, smell that fresh air, we must have gone straight up a mountain to get out of the stench of downtown... I cannot wait to stretch. my. legs! Wait, what is that sound? Is that a dog? There is a dog at MY new house? Holy cow, make that DOGS at MY new house! What is this treachery??? And for heaven's sake, WHO LET THE DOGS OUT????
Shhhh*** I'm in the house... with the dogs... I see the dogs... a white dog... a black dog... a reddish and white dog... and a short little tan one....I am going to become a scooby snack... I have to go now... I need to hide... please wish me luck...
In hiding,
~R
It all began back in the early spring of 2009... Mom started bringing home all these empty boxes... "FINALLY!" I thought... She is FINALLY going to get rid of some of her worthless junk that takes room away from me... :-D Then she sits down and tells me that she found this house... she knew I would love it- more windows, more room, more heating vents... (and more mice, but she was unaware of that "more") Wow... more room... more heat... more windows and sunbeams... I am in cat-heaven! When do we leave? I'll have my bag packed in a moment! Okay... I'm ready- let's GO!
But, we didn't leave as quickly as I thought we would... nope, not at all... Instead, every day mom would pack up a couple of boxes and take more precious square footage of sunbeamage from me. Then one day, finally, she started hauling all the boxes out... It's about time- time to move to the HOUSE! Woo hoo! But, no, she was just storing the boxes elsewhere, because as soon as they were gone, she started replacing them with more boxes... For one person, she has a lot of JUNK! I should have gotten her an organizing service for Christmas to help her purge some of this junk... Seriously, do you really think she's going to use 200 pounds of yarn in her lifetime???
Anyway, no need to bore you with all the details that bored me... So, moving day finally arrives... Yes! More room to run around! So, mom puts me in my itty bitty tiny box and we're on our way to our new house! And we're driving and driving and driving and driving... Didn't she say the house was near the apt? Did she get lost? I start complaining and she tells me to be quiet... And FINALLY, the car comes to a stop... Wow, smell that fresh air, we must have gone straight up a mountain to get out of the stench of downtown... I cannot wait to stretch. my. legs! Wait, what is that sound? Is that a dog? There is a dog at MY new house? Holy cow, make that DOGS at MY new house! What is this treachery??? And for heaven's sake, WHO LET THE DOGS OUT????
Shhhh*** I'm in the house... with the dogs... I see the dogs... a white dog... a black dog... a reddish and white dog... and a short little tan one....I am going to become a scooby snack... I have to go now... I need to hide... please wish me luck...
In hiding,
~R
Dear Riley...I feel your pain. My name is Moose and I've only really lived in one house that I can remember. And therein lays my problem. In my entire life of thirteen years I've only been outside one night...that's it. Truly it was the most horrific of my life! For hours I hide under a log covered by brush hoping the strange creatures that kept sniffing my butt wouldn't eat me. No matter how much I hissed they really didn't seem to scare. Worse yet is the idiots who own me had my front claws removed and I'm not even Siamese! While I enjoy the many sunbeams in my house (notice it is my house)...I really want to go outside and explore. As for dogs I think we have those around our house. But I'm not sure, as having to live inside all my life I'm not familiar with all the other animals. I like to watch the Discovery Channel and think that the things that live in water are out of their minds. Know what I mean? So I hope you don't become a Scooby Snack and don't worry...I watch Scooby Doo too and he seems pretty harmless. Unless of course the big idiot were to step on you! MEOW and how! Best regards...Moose
ReplyDeleteDear Moose,
ReplyDeleteYou really haven't missed anything outside. There are big animals and noisy cars and it's COLD! And no one to leave you meals in a timely manner. I much prefer staying indoors. Less room to stretch my legs- but at least I have my legs to stretch! I saw a skunk outside the other night and a raccoon! No outside for me!
As for dogs... they're furry beasts that bark and bark and bark! And they are DUMB! They actually listen to humans! I can't even imagine!
Anything that lives in or enters water voluntarily is NUTS! Mom goes under that stream of water daily! Can you even imagine??? EEWWW!
I'm not scared of Scooby doo.... I just don't want him to eat me!
Thanks for listening to me Moose... it's nice to know I have a friend out there... Stay strong and train your human! (subliminal messages while they're sleeping works...)
~R