Okay, so I have a room (and when I say room, I mean bed, food dish and bathroom in an itty-bitty "living" space)... But... mom never leaves me for more than a day or so; I'm sure she'll be back soon... The lady that lives downstairs- she seems okay. She disregarded mom telling her, "only 1/2 cup of dry food for Mr Porky-butt." She fills that measuring cup to the top! No rationing in this house... Yet ironic that I'm in the attic, right? Well, she pet me and talked to me for a few minutes and then went back to her dogs. She smells like them, who wants to talk to a dog-smelling human anyway... Mom will come get me soon...
Okay... so it's day 2... No sign of mom, but I sit on the bed and watch for her... And every morning and evening the lady comes up and feeds me... I think the lady has been feeding me more to fatten me up to become a treat for her four dogs... What she doesn't know is I've caught on to her devious plot, so I hide some of the food under the bed... It's a win-win situation... she thinks I'm eating and I'm instead hoarding in case she changes her mind and stops feeding me... I know, I'm not the "avvvv-er-age cat!"
III
I have begun scratching the days in the wall behind a box (I wonder if this lady is related to my mom or she just likes boxes too?). Day three... I have been deserted... being held hostage in a tiny cell by a lady trying to fatten me up... Geez, if she knew I wrote, this would sound like a Stephen King novel... <shiver> I'm glad she doesn't look like Kathy Bates!
IIII
Solitary confinement... I'm going to go crazy in here I tell ya... my catnapper (formerly known as "the lady") only comes up to feed me. I try to stay quiet to not upset the dogs, but it's hard... I pretend I like her, but I am hoping to stay on her good side... I'm not relishing the idea of being torn limb from limb.
IIIII
Day 5... A hostage... deserted by the only mom I've ever loved... suckered into believing that I too would be moving to a big new house... but *sigh* alas... my geriatric years will be spent with catnappers and dogs.... Wait, maybe I died and mom was right... maybe if I did lick her hand one more time the devil would take my soul... I'm SO WEAK! The temptation... it was just. too. great... I couldn't help myself! I have been banished to one of the nine circles (nine lives.. nine circles... curious) Dante so eloquently described! Curse you Dante! Curse you mom... *sniff*
IIIIII
An eternity has passed since I have last seen my beloved mom... I dream she's calling me but can't get by the ferocious hounds to rescue me... I uncurl my tail out the window for her to climb up, but curses, my tail is not as long as I thought... *sniff* *sniff* Well, I guess it's time for my last resort...
Dear God... it's me Riley... I promise to never lick mom's hand again... EVER! I promise not get under her feet... And I promise I'll never ask you for anything ever again... If... well... you just BRING. BACK. MOM! Please... I've been good... today... and I really promise to never ever ask for anything ever again...
Hail mary and all that jazz... (Anyone have any rosemary beads I can kiss?) Also... send rosemary beads... Er... I mean, nevermind... Just send mom... with rosemary beads?
IIIIIII
An entire eon has passed... I am whithering away to skin and bones... I have a pale complexion... I can barely lift my head off my fluffed pillow to even look out the windows... Oh great... and now I'm hearing things... This must be the last step before I walk into the great white light... At least... I'm hearing mom's voice... so I guess I'll go happy... Goodbye Mom... goodbye... may you enjoy your big house all by yourself... no one to greet you at the door (you know, if you had a dog).... no one to care if you got out of work on time... (it's AFTER 5 pm missy, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? My food dish doesn't fill itself!)
Hallucinations... now I see mom... maybe mom is the white light.. okay... I'll walk to her... and enter the other *klunk* Mom's legs are awfully hard to walk through... I need to cross over... Isn't that John guy going to be there to greet me???
Ooh, flying through the air... Wait, MOM picked me up! Mom is real... wait let me pinch HER to make sure... "OUCH! Riley! What did you do that for?"
She's real! Wooo hoooo she is REAL! She will take me out of this circle of inferno! Goodbye lady... goodbye stinky beasts....
We're in the car... on the way... Mom has me out of the box and I sit on her lap... Hmm... her hand looks pretty tasty... Must. Not. Lick... *Slurp!*
"Stop it, or I will throw you right out the window of this car!"
It's good to be home...
~R
P.S. Dear God...I'm guessing you really didn't have anything to do with mom coming back for me... I knew she would... :-P so yeah, everything I said, "fuggget-about-it." And keep the rosebud beads... I won't be needing them afterall.
Okay... so it's day 2... No sign of mom, but I sit on the bed and watch for her... And every morning and evening the lady comes up and feeds me... I think the lady has been feeding me more to fatten me up to become a treat for her four dogs... What she doesn't know is I've caught on to her devious plot, so I hide some of the food under the bed... It's a win-win situation... she thinks I'm eating and I'm instead hoarding in case she changes her mind and stops feeding me... I know, I'm not the "avvvv-er-age cat!"
III
I have begun scratching the days in the wall behind a box (I wonder if this lady is related to my mom or she just likes boxes too?). Day three... I have been deserted... being held hostage in a tiny cell by a lady trying to fatten me up... Geez, if she knew I wrote, this would sound like a Stephen King novel... <shiver> I'm glad she doesn't look like Kathy Bates!
IIII
Solitary confinement... I'm going to go crazy in here I tell ya... my catnapper (formerly known as "the lady") only comes up to feed me. I try to stay quiet to not upset the dogs, but it's hard... I pretend I like her, but I am hoping to stay on her good side... I'm not relishing the idea of being torn limb from limb.
IIIII
Day 5... A hostage... deserted by the only mom I've ever loved... suckered into believing that I too would be moving to a big new house... but *sigh* alas... my geriatric years will be spent with catnappers and dogs.... Wait, maybe I died and mom was right... maybe if I did lick her hand one more time the devil would take my soul... I'm SO WEAK! The temptation... it was just. too. great... I couldn't help myself! I have been banished to one of the nine circles (nine lives.. nine circles... curious) Dante so eloquently described! Curse you Dante! Curse you mom... *sniff*
IIIIII
An eternity has passed since I have last seen my beloved mom... I dream she's calling me but can't get by the ferocious hounds to rescue me... I uncurl my tail out the window for her to climb up, but curses, my tail is not as long as I thought... *sniff* *sniff* Well, I guess it's time for my last resort...
Dear God... it's me Riley... I promise to never lick mom's hand again... EVER! I promise not get under her feet... And I promise I'll never ask you for anything ever again... If... well... you just BRING. BACK. MOM! Please... I've been good... today... and I really promise to never ever ask for anything ever again...
Hail mary and all that jazz... (Anyone have any rosemary beads I can kiss?) Also... send rosemary beads... Er... I mean, nevermind... Just send mom... with rosemary beads?
IIIIIII
An entire eon has passed... I am whithering away to skin and bones... I have a pale complexion... I can barely lift my head off my fluffed pillow to even look out the windows... Oh great... and now I'm hearing things... This must be the last step before I walk into the great white light... At least... I'm hearing mom's voice... so I guess I'll go happy... Goodbye Mom... goodbye... may you enjoy your big house all by yourself... no one to greet you at the door (you know, if you had a dog).... no one to care if you got out of work on time... (it's AFTER 5 pm missy, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? My food dish doesn't fill itself!)
Hallucinations... now I see mom... maybe mom is the white light.. okay... I'll walk to her... and enter the other *klunk* Mom's legs are awfully hard to walk through... I need to cross over... Isn't that John guy going to be there to greet me???
Ooh, flying through the air... Wait, MOM picked me up! Mom is real... wait let me pinch HER to make sure... "OUCH! Riley! What did you do that for?"
She's real! Wooo hoooo she is REAL! She will take me out of this circle of inferno! Goodbye lady... goodbye stinky beasts....
We're in the car... on the way... Mom has me out of the box and I sit on her lap... Hmm... her hand looks pretty tasty... Must. Not. Lick... *Slurp!*
"Stop it, or I will throw you right out the window of this car!"
It's good to be home...
~R
P.S. Dear God...I'm guessing you really didn't have anything to do with mom coming back for me... I knew she would... :-P so yeah, everything I said, "fuggget-about-it." And keep the rosebud beads... I won't be needing them afterall.
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