Riley Verses The...: Riley Verses The... Elmyra-esque Visitor Part 1

Long ago, there was a cartoon on TV called Tiny Toon Adventures. There was a character named Elmyra Duff ...

This is Elmyra... the cartoon character...

This is who Elmyra was based on... Meet Mommy's niece... We'll call her "Ellie" to protect the not-so-innocent... ^.-

Ellie holding me...

A little too tight...

Close up of my "happy" face... (Sorry for the poor quality.. mom is cheap and decided to get a phone without a suitable camera to catch my devastatingly handsome good looks...)

Grumpy Cat who???

Eh, hem, where was I? Oh yes... "Ellie."

On one frigidly cold and unwelcoming Vermont day (we have about 357 of those yearly), Mom left the house with a backpack slung over her shoulder and a decidedly menacing laugh (that to her *probably* sounded like, "Be good Riley, I'll be back late tonight...). I, of course, wondered what was in the pack. I had somehow slept through her packing it and was at a loss as to where she would be going all day and through MY dinnertime. Hrmmph!

And as promised, mom rolled back up at the house around 0200 (that's 2 am for you civilians out there). Since I know it annoys her when she doesn't know where I am, I stretch... I yawn... I stretch again... And wait until I hear the key scratching at the door before I *think* about heading down the stairs to greet her... It is late after all and I *was* sleeping. One final stretch and I meander around the corner...

WHAT?????

WHO is that with her?????

No one informed me that I was sharing MY house with ANOTHER human... I only allow mom to live here since she does, well, kind of, sort of, you know... pays the bills... But I *should* have a roof over my head... free food to eat... free healthcare... I am a democat... (oh yeah, I went there...) It's my RIGHT to life, liberty and the pursuit of others hard-earned cash (AKA, happiness... ;-))!

And then I was spotted... That's right, Ellie drops her bags and makes a beeline in my direction. ~.^ I'm too ~~rotund~~ tired to dart out of reach. I brace myself for the worst... but she only pats me on my elongated forehead (my neanderthal forehead - don't judge... they've been looking for the missing link for YEARS...) and heads toward the litter box. Perhaps she'll do what mommy-dearest rarely does... and CLEAN it! :-P But alas, my box is still soiled when she exits, but her breath smells like something minty died... three days ago, rather than just the decomposition of death... (nose plug anyone? Anyone? *gag* Purrr-leeeeze!)

Anywho... off she went to bed (MY bed btw... MY BED! And she wouldn't even share! I took an elbow to the ribs... toes to the ear and eventually got kneed off completely. She is, by far, the Most. Violent. Sleeper. Ever!)

The next morning, her royal highness didn't leave *my* bed until about 11:00 am... 11:00 AM!!! What the catnip people? Do you know how many HOURS of catnapping I missed out on? Is that a wrinkle??? It is a wrinkle!

O. M. G!!!!!

And Princess Buttercup just walks on by... Doesn't even notice me and my tired, droopy eyes... my slouching, exhausted tail... But at least my bed is free... And I make a mad dash for it and sink right in...

Ahhhhh... Now, how YOU doin'?