Riley Verses The... Spring Cleaning

Two months ago... I started this blog... but due to unforeseen circumstances (emergency sun beam naps, mysterious noises in the wall and mom's ability to hide the laptop... ^.- ) it's taken me a while to finish...

Ahem... so, without further ado... I bring you, "Spring Cleaning."

The part of the Cat is being played by yours truly (*blush* *blush* Oh do hold your applause...) and the part of "Mom" is being played by the Wicked Witch of the West (no, the Wicked Witch of the East was unavailable; she had a previous engagement... with a house).

Spring... Wonderful, Glorious, Fabulous, Sunny Spring is right around the corner my arctic friends... The sun and I are hanging out longer... and that annoyingly bright snow is finally weeping its goodbyes... Life. Is. Good...

Then enter mom...

And the vacuum...

And rhetorical statements of, "I wonder how that will look there..." "Hmm... this should be tossed..." "And my! It's in the 70's this week, I can open windows and turn off the heat!"

Um, turn off the heat? It's MARCH woman! It's going to get cold again... We live in Brr-mont! Are you freaking insane?

And then good ol' Mother Nature backed me up that week! It was snowing! And do you know what that fruit loop did? She opened the back door to let the arctic wind whip through the kitchen! Why? Because she decided it was a perfectly lovely day to hang sheets out to dry. I've heard of freeze dried food (*BLECH*) but freeze dried sheets??? My, don't they sound snuggly and cozy?  ^.-

So, I did what any sane, rational, warm-blooded creature would do; ran for warmer ground (you do remember me telling you about my heated mattress pad, right??? Oh yes... toasty my friends... toasty)!

Alright, so it's mid-May now so, please accept my sincerest apologies for the tardiness of this blog... It's been a rough month... Without the heat turned on, my little claws were shivering so much I couldn't even type! Thankfully the sun has been cranked up (woo hoo folks, in the 80's this past weekend!) and mom is no longer in possession of the laptop (she has finally graduated peeps! And do you know what she's done to celebrate??? Oh, just guess... She signed up for chemistry classes in the fall! Isn't that the most fabulous way to celebrate being done with classes??? *head desk*).

Well, my patient readers of the cyber world... Spring cleaning is done downstairs... Though I did do a bit of complaining and protesting... it is nice to be able to roll around all over the place batting the doody out of my "torturous" treat ball.... However, without the piles, I'm finding fewer places to hide it... You win some, you lose some... C'est la vie!

I know I have not upheld my civic duty of blogging more often... but I think I've come up with an idea to solve that... 

Stay tuned for the next blog where I unveil my most brilliant idea ever... (but please don't hold your breath for it, unless you're David Blaine... I prefer to not lose my fans... Not many kitties have an international fan base ya' know... :-) )

~R

Riley Verses The... Resolutions

Ha Ha! Mommy dearest only thought I would make it til the 13th... And *plllllllllsssssssssssss* I made it to January 17th! Boooo- yahhhh! (Yes, granted it IS February 8th that I'm telling you this...) Yeah, boooooyyyy! *Happy Dance* <wiggle, wiggle, punch the air, punch the air>

Alright... perhaps I shouldn't be so excited that I made it only 17 days... but that is still FOUR. DAYS. LONGER. than Ms. "Know-it-all" said I would. I *knew* I could make it longer than just 13 days... and I did! (btw, did you notice the scratch on her nose today? I was having this fabulous dream last night about catnip and warm, soft carpets to roll around on... I rolled, she rolled, her nose got in the way. ^.- ).

As for the rest of the resolutions... well, lets just say they're a work in process...  a labor of love if you will... Mom loves me and I like to entertain her ideas...

When mom actually remembers to fill up my treat chamber of doom, I have managed to (relatively) silently empty it (psss, come in close, I have a secret to tell you... Mom doesn't realize that I can hook my claw under the turn-y thing and swivel it around so that the BIG hole is allowing treats to fall... I just have to remember to turn it back so mom doesn't get suspicious... It was a REALLY close call the other day... But fortunately for me, mom's sister text messaged her while she was picking up the treat ball and Ms. "I-can-multitask-and-only-pay-partial-attention-to-the-15-things-I'm-doing" ended up filling it without realizing she never even opened it! *snicker*).

As for the tripping/launching down the stairs... I have not gotten any sort of blinking lights for my tale, but I do try to get down the stairs while mom makes the bed. It seems to be working for now, claws crossed... but no promises if mom is lazy one morning and doesn't bother making the bed...

And, she is STILL rolling over while she sleeps... it does seem to be kept to a minimum and for the most part, I try to stay under the covers (I live in VERMONT people... even with this "global warming" thing, it is still FAR too cold for me! And have I mentioned that mom doesn't even heat the bedroom? Nope, she has this mattress pad on the bed that she plugs into the wall. It gets toasty warm under the covers, but you pop your head out and icicles start forming on your whiskers... Have you ever sneezed ice cubes??? I have!!! ^.-

And finally, last, but most certainly not least... I have been using my "listening skills" (thank you "mommy-of-the-short one" for a phrase that just never seems to lose funny-ness to my mom) and I will actually stop whining the 418th time mom asks me to stop... Sometimes, on special occasions (like I have food in my mouth or I'm too muffled to be heard under 27 blankets) I even stop BEFORE mom gets to 418! I think that should earn me extra treats or at least "honorary" days for meeting (and EXCEEDING!) my resolutions...

And that's all for now folks... the sun is creeping through the living room window and I better go keep it company before it runs away again...

Still striving...
~R

Riley Verses The... New Year

Wow... 2012... Can you believe it? New Years has a special place in my heart since that's when Mom picked me up from the Inhumane Society and took me home in an itty bitty box... Now I have a house! Woot Woot!

So... without further ado... <drumroll please> my...

New Year's Resolutions!

1. Will bat my torture treat chamber on my own without whining (okay, so this isn't really realistic, but isn't that the point to New Year's Resolutions???)
2. Will not stick my paw up mom's nose while she's sleeping (What? I need to stretch out... Not my fault her big ol' honker is in my way!).
3. Will not trip mom going down the stairs (maybe ebay has some blinky lights I can attach to my tail so mom can SEE me in the dark... geesh)
4. Will not protest (LOUDLY) when she rolls over while she's sleeping and then get my lovely claws stuck in her hair (I wonder if she ever heard of a hairnet? Or maybe she could twisty turvy it into a bun.... Or MAYBE she could just stop freaking rolling over!)
5. And finally... I will obediently listen when mom tells me to "Shut Up" for the 418th time. (Cause I know she really doesn't mean it if she only says it 417 times... She just likes to hear herself *tawk* LOL, did I mention mom's a "New Yawkah?" Bwaaahaahaahaaa)

And that, my loyal fans, is my New Year's Resolutions of 2012... What are yours? And who wants to place bets on how long I last... Mom gives me 'til January 13th...